Thursday, October 18, 2012

Korean Ultimate Players Association

Looking at the title of this post, you may think I am going to write about dating practices, cheating, and people who look like this weirdo:

ye standarde tinfoil pimpe cup.
No, no, silly people. I'm going to talk to you about sports. Or not. Maybe I'll just post a video of what I found today that makes me ridiculously happy. It's a way to stay fit AND make friends and, well, I'm not very good at it but if this weather ever lets up and we get to have more games, I'll improve.

And now, our feature presentation, courtesy of KUPA:


Watch the bonus footage at the end to see an incredibly cute demonstration of bringing your interests into your school, and lessons.

They have teams all over Korea! I've never played in a competitive team before, aside from a few months of hockey in high school. So exciting! And Ultimate Frisbee is ridiculously fun. 

I think this is another thing to look forward to in Korea. :D

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

What to Bring to South Korea

My old friend Grant asked, "Where exactly in Korea are you based? And what should I bring with me? I'm still waiting to hear, but I'm hoping to get to Seoul."

Well, firstly I'm also still waiting for my interview, but I've got my fingers crossed for Daegu. As for what to bring...

The official EPIK website has a pretty detailed list of what you'll need to have when you're in Korea, but I've found options that make it easier for you to pack. The EPIK list is here, outlining the basics. And somehow you need to fit it into a 20kg bag.

Some tips and tricks I've picked up from reading other blogs:

Pack for half the year, not the whole year. 
If you're arriving in Fall, then pack winter clothes (you can get an idea of what the weather is like at whatever time of the year by going to your city's Wikipedia page). Limit the bulky items; the key to staying warm in Korea is layering, and they're also better equipped for cold there, so you can buy the bulky stuff there, if you are not a 6ft giant. Be ruthless; your school has to provide you with a washing machine and there is indoor space for you to hang things up in your apartment, so just accept that you'll need to do laundry often at first. Pack up the clothes you won't need for 6 months and get someone generous to post that package to you once you know your address.

Pack things you know you can't get in Korea.
It's really hard to get shoes if your feet are a Saffer size 6 and above, although some shops and markets in Seoul are becoming more sasquatch-friendly. And you can order shoes online from other countries and have them delivered. But when you arrive there, make sure you've got shoes that are worn with socks and come off easily for various occasions. Koreans are not so hot on bare feet, and you need to take your shoes off when entering a home. Also pack a decent pair of hiking boots. Again, you can leave half your shoes at home, to be posted later - if you're arriving in February, you don't need to pack your wellies as the monsoon season only starts in August-ish. But make sure you have some kind of boot to traipse through puddles in.

As I mentioned previously, other things like underwear also might be hard to find in your size if you don't have a particularly Asian build, so stock up on that.

Koreans don't sweat nearly as much as Westerners, for some reason. As such, it's almost impossible to get deodorant unless you pay an arm and a leg on the black market. Bring as much as you can fit in your bag, keeping in mind that summer in Korea is very humid.

The cold - there's a weird weather system that means that in Korea, in winter, the wind blows frostbite at you from Siberia. No, really, SIBERIA. South Africa doesn't ever get that cold, so you might need to visit Cape Union Mart and get a Ski jacket. Even then, it probably won't be warm enough, so accept that you're going to look like an obese jersey-addict for a bit until you get a proper warm Korean jacket.

You start work pretty much immediately after orientation, so make sure you've got some decent teacher clothes as well. Suit up, boys and girls, and ladies - hide the girls. Koreans don't mind if your skirt is so short you can see your armpits, but your shoulders must be covered and your twins stowed neatly out of sight.

Settling into your apartment - I've seen a lot of blogs suggesting that you bring bedding, as it is difficult to buy it in Korea. Wellll... I suppose so. But I am personally going to save space by ordering the basics from The Arrival Store. They're cheap, they deliver to your door and they're awesome, according to people who've used them. I'm not sure how long you'd need to wait for them to deliver it, after you arrive, but every apartment has underfloor heating, so if you bring a blankie or something you can probably 'camp' on your floor until your TAS box arrives - probably only a night or two. Hey, it's an adventure. It will be fun. Maybe.

Unnecessary items:
Don't bring your phone unless it's a recent smartphone, such as one running Android, Windows OS or an iPhone. Ordinary phones don't work in Korea, and you can easily get one when you arrive. If you bring a smartphone, you probably won't be able to use it at first because those require contracts, which no one is going to give a GET in their first six months, as a lot of GETs get homesick or fed up or disillusioned and leave.

You can buy most shampoos and conditioners in Korea, and their make-up is about 500 years ahead of the rest of the world, so bring some basics but indulge in the wonders of BB cream and eyeliner compasses when you arrive.

Bring a couple of pairs of nice socks with you - soft, clean, new-looking and not raggedy and full of holes, but know that you can buy them by the bucket load when you arrive as well. So, bring a couple for the first month or so, and then go shopping with your first paycheck (2.1 mill) + entrance allowance (1.3 mill) + settling in allowance (300 000) +... How awesome is it that we'll be millionaires in a month? Ah, ok, millionaires in Kwon isn't quite the same, but hey, I like seeing multiple zeroes in my bank account. Provided there's something in front of those zeroes. I digress. You only get this at the end of your first month (except for the settling in allowance) so bring some cash with you to tide you over for a month.

Quell homesickness
If there is a particular item from home that you love and cherish and makes you feel happy, bring it. Your first couple of months in Korea can be pretty lonely. I'll be bringing a massive stack of fake polaroids of some very happy times and the teddy bear I've had since I was a baby. But the best way to deal with homesickness, and I know this as someone who's lived away from home since I was 14 years old, is to

a) pretend you've slipped through a portal into a parallel universe. I'm nerdy like that, but if you treat it like you're hopping in the TARDIS for a bit and can pick up right where you left off, you may be horribly mistaken but it will feel a lot easier than if you think you're abandoning your home, your country and all the people you love.
b) learn to use and love Skype. You'll have internet set up in your apartment pretty soon, and until then there are lots of wifi hotspots, so you can keep in touch with the fan-damily if you feel the need.
c) keep busy. Learn Korean. Explore your city. Make amazing lessons for your students. Don't just sit in your apartment, wallowing in self-pity and loneliness. If you made friends during Orientation, meet up with them. They're probably feeling as lost and as lonely as you are.

So bring stuff that lets you do that. You can buy books on learning Korean when you get there. Save weight by bringing a Kindle - it can hold thousands of books and it will love you forever and you can cuddle it and snuggle it and try not to fall asleep holding it above your face because it is harder than a paper book and it will hurt you. Ow.



That's all I can think of right now - but remember I haven't listed everything, just the personal tweaks I'll be making if I make it through the interview stage. Use the EPIK list as your foundation, but know it's a little bit flexible depending on how willing you are to adapt to your new environment.


Waiting for that interview (re-enacted)

Wake up and wait for my gmail to load:

See that someone got rejected. Still no word for me.


Someone got in! It wasn't me. On the outside:

Meanwhile, on the inside:


And the wait continues.






Korea vs Kalamazoos

Koreans are obsessed with appearances - why else would they have the highest plastic surgery stats in the world? Well, one part of their body they won't tweak is their chesticles*. Korean ladies like 'em small - it's part of the lanky, skinny waif trend, I guess. Behold, a beautiful Korean woman:



They have lines for everything - V line for the face and cleavage (uh, what cleavage? You mean that little valley between your twin peaks, Mt Mozzie-bite and Mt Kumquat?), S-line for 'curves', I guess. And all kinds of other such ideals about beauty. I'm not really going to go into them here - click the link to read about it.

Let's get back to the jubblies at hand.



Now, women in my family are blessed with good health, good hair, a sense of humour and pretty blue eyes. One area we don't do so well in is, well, the wah-wahs. With one exception.

Yep, you guessed it. The one person in the family who has decided to zoom off to kimchi-land is the one who is the least aerodynamic. They're not huge, but they're definitely bigger than the average Korean's hemispheres. And with Korean ideas of propriety clashing majorly with those held by your typical South African, my 'over-endowment' in the bikini-stuffer area is looking like it might end up being a bit of a problem.

In South Africa, it is considered acceptable, and even quite elegant, to go out looking like this:



In fact, we even celebrate 'National Cleavage Day' as a Breast Cancer awareness thing. We like our mammaries. We're not ashamed of them, and we don't hesitate to whip out our fun bags whenever it seems appropriate... Within reason.



Oddly enough (from a Korean perspective), we happy mushmelon-jiggling Saffers think this is a bit trashy:


It's perfectly acceptable in Korea, apparently. All right, let's agree to disagree about where it's appropriate to flash whatever kind of cleavage. What worries me is that because I am 'lucky' to have the most shapely sugarplums in my family, I've always cunningly used them to draw attention away from the junk in my trunk, if you get my drift. I have a loooot of junk in my trunk. What can I say? I'm a hoarder.  See, if we break it down into Korean terms, my body is less of an S line and more of a ᄅ. So I most definitely veer away from the Korean trend of miniskirts and matron tops, toward a more western idea of enhancing the Moo Moos and hiding my other-other lovely lady lumps.

This means I'm going to have to go through all my clothes and throw out anything strappy or plunging. I didn't even know some things were low cut until I saw photos of myself in what I thought at the time was fairly formal, conservative wear. Why yes, I did bring my Jemimas to your wedding. Sorry about that.

Once I've gotten rid of all the clothing that lifts my udders, squeezes my tortillas, drops bass on my woofers and frames my dueling banjos, I wonder if there will be anything left for me to actually wear. I'm also going to have to invest in a whole lot of over-shoulder boulder-holders as they don't sell anything larger than a B-cup in Korea.

Boobs.


*Ah, euphemisms. Boy, this was a fun post to write.