Severance, Exit allowance, Pension and Moving On

It's that time of year, folks. After two years in EPIK, it's time to pass GO, collect $200 and keep on going.

The DMOE sent out the following email which caused much a-fluttering:

Hi - 

If you are receiving this email, you have requested copies of the documents that are necessary to continue employment in Korea after your current contract with the DMOE has ended, or have indicated that you have secured employment elsewhere in Korea through communication with the coordinator's office. As you are probably well aware, we are not permitted to distribute the exit allowance to those NET's that continue employment in Korea after the end of their contracts, whether it be at another MOE or POE, a private institution, or university (article 11, clause 4). Essentially, if you are changing your visa while staying in Korea to reflect new employment, then you are not eligible to receive the exit allowance. At this point, we have asked our financial officer to withhold sending the total amount to your school until you are able to submit substantiating evidence that you will be leaving the country. You will need to submit a copy of an itinerary or plane ticket in your name that shows the date of departure as anytime after the end of your contract (or before, if you are using vacation days to leave early). You may feel free contact us individually if you feel you have a special circumstance that does not allow you to submit said documentation. 

Please understand that this is an incredibly difficult rule to enforce on our end. While we are well aware that merely requesting copies of documents doesn't automatically mean that you will be securing employment, it is the only objective method that we can use in order to enforce this particular rule in the contract. We would appreciate your cooperation in order to give you the allowance if eligible. 

Thanks,

DMOE Coordinators.

TL;DR:

1. If you are leaving the country, you get the $1300 exit allowance. If you're transferring your visa to another employer, you don't.

2. To get your $1300 (if you're eligible), send them the receipt of a ticket (plane, ferry, tuktuk, whatever) in your name, leaving the country. 

I took a closer look at our contracts and the above is in there, so there's not really any way around it. 

However, I also found this:

3. Everyone, regardless of what you're doing next, who is ending their EPIK contract, is eligible for severance pay. 

From the DMOE:

Information regarding the severance pay went out in the "end of contract details" email that we sent out when you renounced your renewal contract. I will provide you with the link again. Severance pay is roughly equivalent to 1 month's worth of salary for every year that you have completed. Note that the entire sum is taxed. Your admin office may be able to give you the exact sum total. I might suggest that you ask for a breakdown of your last payments for your records.

So let's break that down. On payday, February 25th (more or less), you should receive the following:

1. February 2015's paycheck (according to the pay scale, your usual amount).
2.1 month's salary (of the amount you were paid in your FINAL year) for each year of your previous consecutive EPIK contracts. (e.g. 2013 + 2014 = 2 months worth of 2014 paychecks)
3. (- taxes)

If you have not yet received your renewal bonus for re-signing for 2014, you should definitely remind your school about that and receive that too. 

As far as I can tell, renewal bonus and severance are NOT the same thing. If your school carried over your renewal bonus to pay it with your severance, it should NOT be deducted from your severance.

So, if you're leaving Korea, your paycheck for February should be about $5000-8000 (depending on your pay scale level and how much taxes are). If you're staying but moving to another job (not EPIK) it should be about $4000-6000. If you're moving to another POE/MOE, you should receive $4000 ~ 6000 + $300 (settlement bonus) from the new POE/MOE. 

On top of that, Australians, Canadians and Americans are eligible for a full refund of their pension payments as follows:

You have been contributing 50% to your pension fund, while the DMOE has been matching that and paying 50% as well up until now. You will be eligible to get a 100% refund ONLY if you are from Australia, Canada or U.S.A., according to the national treaties. You must physically go to the National Pension Office in person, up to one month prior to your departure from the country to request your refund. After the last day of your contract, your school will report the termination of your contract to the pension office. After the school's report and the Immigration Service's confirmation on your departure are complete, your application for the refund will be processed. Please refer to the website for the National Pension Corporation for detailed information about the Pension Plan and the application process for your refund (http://www.nps.or.kr - English website available). Also, a telephone consultation service is available at 02-2176-8702.

*Please note: while you can physically submit your application for renewal up to one month prior, your refund request can only be processed starting the day after your contract ends, and it usually takes about one to one and a half months after your departure has been confirmed by the Immigration Office for the funds to be deposited into your account.*

Required Documents
Passport
Alien Registration Card
Flight Ticket (departure date must be indicated) - flight confirmation/itinerary printed from the internet is acceptable.
Bank Account Number (domestic or international - international may require your bank's swift code)

*Please note: The DMOE does not provide pension payments. Your payments will come from the National Pension Office.*

You lucky bastards. 



I hope this is clear... If not, please go ahead and spam the coordinators' inboxes.

Orientation highs and lows

As orientation starts winding up, with classes over and lesson demonstrations tomorrow, I think it's time I compiled a list of the good things and bad things that have summed up the last week or so of my preparation for teaching in Daegu.

Highs

• Meeting people who will be living in my city, or even near my school
• Building friendships that look like they'll last a long time
• Hysterically funny conversation over lunch and dinner
• Trying to eat scrambled eggs with chopsticks - and succeeding!
• Playing drinking games with random ajeossis in the local watering hole
• Being the only people in the bar and getting special treatment because of it
• Learning Korean at lightning speed
• The friendliness 
• Jumping around like a maniac and kicking the crap out of the taekwondo paddle
• Playing in the snow
• Learning about Korea from Koreans, and about teaching in it from teachers who've done it
• Singing the Koala song in Korean - Kokoko, alalal, lalala
• Accidentally discovering the market
• Heated toilet seats
• Noraebuses
• Fantastic Epik staff
• The lady in the convenience store
• Sitting with lecturers at meals and hearing the 'deleted' bits
• Meeting people for what you both thought was the first time, only to realise that not only were you in the same class at university, but you trained together and worked at a bar together for a couple of weeks.

Lows

• The key system - having one key between two people who hardly see each other is a pain in the arse.
• No one has ever heard of Mauritius. 
• Being too cold outside and too hot inside. 
• Long lectures with no breaks, and the impossibility of keeping your eyes open
• Whoever stole my shampoo before I'd even put my bags in my room
• Hearing about people failing their drug test, or of people giving up and going home before they'd even gone to their city.
• Making friends with amazing people... who are moving to the other end of Korea
• Being woken by the Voice Of the Intercom God every couple of minutes in the morning
• Not having clean clothes or time to wash them
• The food getting progressively more western and less edible
• Being treated like a child
• The midnight curfew
• The feeling of it being a school camp
• Living out of a suitcase
• Internet that only works sometimes, and not nearly at the speed of the infamous Korean bandwidth
• Not speaking Korean well enough to get directions to the outdoor market, rather than to the 7/11, while leading a group of people on a wild goose chase
• Hungry elevators that eat you and then ignore which button you pressed and go to whichever floor they feel like visiting at the time, in the wrong direction.

But even then, the bad bits aren't so bad. It's been fun, but I'm definitely looking forward to unpacking, throwing a load of laundry into the machine, and going for a long walk around my neighbourhood. Luckily for me, we've got a long weekend as I arrive, so I can do just that.

My well-traveled visa

This passport (with my visa in it) has been to more countries in the last 24 hours than I have in the past month.

And it may be delivered... sooon...

I see England, I see France. I can see your underpants. 

If "Out for Delivery" means it's in a truck that's heading up our snowy little mountain, then,

Finding out which school I'm going to

This morning I woke up to a message from a stranger, asking if I was South African, and promising vital information.

At first I thought, "Oh no, another Nigerian prince wants to marry me, but only if I give him a whole lot of money."

But then he mentioned what I majored in, in my undergrad, and said that he's almost completely certain that I'm replacing the Kiwi NET at his school in Daegu. My school. Apparently the oldest and biggest middle school in Daegu.

It has a pretty tree and a big rock.

And it's quite close to downtown.

Now this guy is telling me he's called dibs on anything the teacher I'm replacing leaves behind in her apartment, and that he may in fact switch with her, so he gets the better one. Hmm... This guy has far too much power.

Far too much.

I dunno. He seems like a fun guy...

Well, apparently it is quite common for the NET who stays to get first dibs on the leaving NET's stuff. It's a seniority thing, and I can definitely respect that. Hell, I'd probably do the same thing in his shoes. But I couldn't pass up the opportunity to put a photo of DJ Dictator in. 

Right now I'm just happy that I won't be teaching kindergarten.

What I know so far:
It's a middle school, and I'll be teaching about 1500 kids a week.
It's near the baseball stadium.
It's near downtown.
I found the school's website, which publishes useful info like the meal schedule for the cafeteria as well as calorie info per meal.
They celebrated Free Hugs Day last year. :)
The school was established in 1916, and was a girls-only school at first.
There's a very big volunteering program at the school, ranging from helping out at the school to helping in nursing homes, disaster relief, community gardening, helping the disabled...
They have lots of cultural outings, to art museums and so on. Maybe if I'm nice they'll take me with them.
It's near the opera house.
It's miles from the subway but when the third subway line/monorail is completed in 2014 that problem will be solved.

So, yeah. It looks pretty cool, I think.

Avoiding a false positive on the Epik Drug Test

According to the Epik Coordinator on Facebook, a lot of South African applicants get false positives at the drug test at orientation because South African flu/cold medicine and over-the-counter pain medicine contain small amounts of morphine and other such banned substances. So I did some googling for all the things that might cause false positives in a drug test.

The most detailed list I found was here.

The ones that jump out immediately to me are things like Vicks inhalers, ibuprofen (often used to treat menstrual cramps), nasal sprays, Ritalin, diabetes, tonic water, non-steroidal anti-inflammatories (like Voltaren, which also contains ibuprofen), antibiotics, sleeping pills, night-time cold medicine, cough medicine,  poppy seeds and codeine-based pain-killers. This is not everything though, so I seriously recommend you check the ingredients in your prescription meds against the info at that link.

My plan is to just not take any medicine except birth control until after the medical check.

In the meantime, here are some non-medical home remedies:

Colds and Flu
Eucalyptus oil dripped in the bath or in a mug of boiling water, and inhaled, clears your sniffles. Don't ingest it. It has the same effect as vicks vaporub, and is one of the ingredients in vicks vaporub.
Honey and lemon in a mug of hot water soothes the throat and kills the germs.
A Polish friend of mine swears by orange juice spiked with vodka.
Fruit and veggies.
Probiotics as a preventative measure.
Multivitamins
Saline nasal rinse - I get sinusitis and dust allergies so often that this has become my go-to for the sniffles, as it works out cheaper than popping pills all the time.

Headaches
Treat the cause - tension, tiredness, dehydration... Avoid banging your head on things. Sorry I can't be more helpful here.

Inflammed muscles or joints
Wrap yourself in bubble wrap before leaving the house
Frozen peas to keep the area numb
A warm bath
Massaging the tissue with tissue oil or massage oil

Sadly I can't recommend anything for broken legs or pneumonia. And hopefully I won't contract either of those ailments in the next three weeks. If I do, well... Time to man up.

The Great Contract Debacle of 2013

My contract was apparently sent to me on Friday, and after being 'put in a bag' in Cape Town on Friday, the tracker has turned up no new info.

So I called the post office. I was put on hold briefly and passed along to another post-fairy, who gave me another number to call. That person gave me another number to call as well. The third number I called has apparently gone out to brunch or the beach and might be back later. Maybe.

I'm leaving the country in 2 days' time.

I think this might be the start of another debacle.

Once it does arrive, I'll have to sign it, throw in some other documents like my passport and a passport photo, courier it to Pretoria, wait for it to come back with a visa in it which will then be couriered to me at a small ski resort at the top of a mountain in France.

My nerves are completely shot.

Current count of people I have spoken to on the phone: 8

Finally spoke to a human being with some initiative who stood up and asked the guy who wasn't answering his bloody phone (21 attempts). My parcel is currently being processed by customs and should be delivered tomorrow morning. 

Packing for Korea

I've got a tricky situation in that I'm going skiing with my parents right before I head to Korea. Then I have 5 days in Seoul before going to orientation. So, here's my packing strategy. It should also give you an idea of what sorts of things people are taking for the Spring 2013 intake. Well, what I'm taking. I have no idea if I'm taking the right things. I decided to do a trial run.

Bag 1 (Hardshell)
After spending days and days looking for hardshell suitcases with clips (and not zippers) because my dad is worried that Bad Guys will open the zip and stick drugs in my bag, leading me to be holed up in prison for the rest of my life without trial...

I'd sell her for a pack of smokes if she wasn't the only other English speaker here...

This bag contains:

• winter shoes (hiking boots, trainers, teacher/smart shoes for orientation, flipflops)
• long-johns (2 sets)
• thick, fluffy and ski socks
• tights (2 pairs)
• smart-casual pants
• suit 
• jeans (2 pairs)
•  scarves
• coats (raincoat, ski jacket, denim coat)
• jerseys (SO MANY JERSEYS! Lots of different kinds, with the idea of layering).
• flannel PJs 
• warm-ish gym clothes 
• bras (SO MANY)
• 3 large spray deodorants, and 3 roll-ons (they last a bit longer, I find)
• ski jacket and ski pants (X2)
• thick winter skirt
• smart-casual skirt
• hats and gloves
• frequently used toiletries and makeup

Bag 2 (soft shell - to be wrapped in 8km of plastic until arrival in Daegu)

Ensuring that the dead bodies in the bag stay dead.

• 
  Swimsuits
• more undies
• shorts
• jeans (x1)
• summer dresses (X2)
• smart-casual pants and skirts
• gym t-shirts
• smart-ish t-shirts/tops
• some jerseys that didn't fit in bag 1
• sarongs and other such beachwear
• summer hat
• sandals
• high heels
• infrequently used toiletries and medicine
• small towel
• handbags
• teddy bear
• scuba fins 

Hand luggage:

Mary Poppins' Handbag:

• kindle
• kindle charger
• ipod
• ipod charger
• travel documents
• camera
• GPS
• notebook
• pens
• re-spectacles
• smaller clutch bag
• sudoku book
• extra hat and gloves 
• flash sticks

Pull-on suitcase:

• Orientation documents (certificates etc)
• hairdryer and hair straightener
• gifts for co-teachers, principal, etc
• posters for class
• books and resources for teaching
• backpack
• scarf
• jewellery
• scuba mask

Laptop bag:

• laptop
• cables
• flashdrives

And on the plane I'll wear a pair of jeans, long johns, jersey, heaviest coat, scarf, and some winter boots. 

I think that's me sorted. I'm not that attached to any particular spices or foods so I don't really see the point in bringing them with me, as they'd add extra weight. And if there's anything I do desperately crave, my mom said she'll send them along to me. I am a bit sad to leave my wetsuit behind, but as I'll only be diving in the summer, that will be one of the things I will ask my mother to post to me.

I haven't weighed anything yet. To be honest, I am afraid to. I'd take photos of what my packing looks like, but I've lost my camera charger, terribly conveniently. 

Some tricks that I used to pack can be found in the video below:

Note:

From what I've seen on the interwebs, there are several items that they recommend you bring with you because they're either hard to find or very expensive in Korea. I've touched on that before, in this post.

Pre-Orientation Course Fun

When it's taken an hour, thanks to slow internet, to watch the 20 minute video about something you've got a degree in ALREADY, and you close the lesson once you've finished it without clicking "The End"...

Good news: the fifteen minutes spent on the lesson don't need to be spent watching that video AGAIN.

My contract is in the mail!

Come on, come on...

You've got 9 days left to get to me, before I go overseas and things get unnecessarily complicated.

Edit: Spoke to my recruiter last night and he is couriering it to me today, which means it should be here either tomorrow or on Monday. YAY!

Time to:
 - Download and fill out the residency form for SARS
 - Check that I have everything I need for the visa application
 - Complete the pre-orientation course. I'm find it repeats a lot that I did in Linguistics 1&2, PGCE and TEFL, so it's a bit of a pain, but I'll be done with the boring bits soon and can move on to the Korean culture, history and language bits, which I'm more interested in.
 - test-pack my luggage
 - Work on my basic Korean skills, which I've been slacking on a bit
 - Buy gifts for staff and students at the school

I'm also doing pretty well on my diet and exercise plan - only 2kg to go before I'm the weight I said I was on my application. Being over it is not an uncommon problem, but I've heard of people being sent home because they lied about their weight. I didn't have a scale, so I guessed, and was off by about 5kg. I am quite keen to get in shape, so this seemed like a good goal to start with. If you're interested in stalking my health kick, I'm sweatywaygook on Fitocracy. And that's all I'm going to say about that, in this blog. I might talk about keeping fit in Korea when I get there, but less about me, more about the facilities or things I try.

Placement at last!

I've been placed in Daegu! I'm so ridiculously happy about that. I mean, I would have been happy pretty much anywhere on mainland Korea, but I was seriously thinking they'd place me all the way out in Jeju, and ruin my bucket list plans, which heavily rely on day trips round Korea.

Daegu baby yeah!

And my pre-orientation course email has just arrived in my spam folder. If only my internet was working properly, I could go and do it...

Maybe I should head to my dad's nicely air-conditioned office for the day and slog through it.

Feels like things are moving forward again. Yay!

Cycles of Anxiety

Daegu has started sending out placement emails. Not to me, yet, though.

*hyperventilating*

*obsessive email checking*

*list-making*

If I get the placement I asked for, in Daegu:
-I will know people there already
-I will know things about the city such as where to drink
-all my research has been focused on it
-travel around Korea will be really easy
-I will know pretty soon where I'm going
plus all the good things that made me choose it in the first place, such as the 'small city' feel despite it being a big city, the hiking, nearby templestays, the general vibe...

If I don't get Daegu and all the research I've done means nothing:

"Where the hell is Naju?"

Start again...

Things to prepare for

My recruiter posted this amusing list on Facebook today:

Now that you're going to Korea, there are some things you need to prepare for.

- Pedestrians share the sidewalk with automobiles and motorcycles...

- Restrooms don't have toilet paper or paper towels...but restaurants often have loo paper at each table

- Every child you pass on the street will say 'hello' to you...

- Children love arm hair...

- Every city bus will have at least 2 teenage boys sitting in each others laps and playing with each others hair & they're straight

- People think you should board the train first before allowing people to get off...

- You leave the house almost every day with the hem of your pants/skirt soaking wet...

- Cell phones are meant to always be turned on...

- People love to know your blood type...

- Growing a beard ages you by 20 years...

- Kids and non-smokers are invincible to second-hand smoke...

- Trash can fires are not just for the homeless anymore...

- You are at risk of being hit by a car the second you walk out of your apartment...

- There are more oscillating-fan-related deaths than shootings...

- Other foreigners fascinate you...

- People think that it is really nice to meet you once again for the 300th time...

- Most laws are merely suggestions...

- All food is "delicious" with no exceptions...

- You never shut your bathroom door for fear of drowning...

- You only hear Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga's names twice a week now...

- The school bell makes you crave ice cream...

- The apocalypse has not arrived... it's just some guy selling fish...

- Naked man is doing unnecessary lunges in front of the mirror in the gym changing rooms...

- You carry your empty coffee cup for a long time after you finished it...

- The smell of kimchi, garlic and soju is an aphrodisiac...

- Every woman under 30 is incredibly good looking...

- Everyone is fascinated by their own face and like to take lots of pictures of themselves...

- You need to start making a schedule of your laundry waiting period...

- Fish and rice belong at any breakfast table...

- Walking backwards in a circle is a great way to exercise...

- It makes sense to remove your face mask if you need to sneeze...

- There are only 2 languages ever spoken - Korean and English...

- Little kids traveling alone on public transit is nothing to be concerned about...

- Loud construction workers are Korea's answer to the alarm clock...

- Any decent man's tie should sparkle...

- Animals love to advertise their own consumption....

- Everyone, including 7 year old's, has a nicer cell phone than you...

- Even if you are fast asleep on the subway or city bus, you won't miss your stop...

- At least once a week you crawl across your apartment floor to get something you forgot after putting your shoes on...A lot of these won't make sense to the first timers but bookmark this list and check back in a few months :-)

10 Ways to Make Time Fly In October

So you've run around getting things stamped and signed, and maybe you've sent your mountain of paperwork in to your recruiter, or directly to EPIK. Well, if you haven't sent them in yet,

What the hell are you waiting for?

Get a move on! EPIK started accepting applications sent in by recruiters today. And it's first come, first served.

If you're on the ball, and have sent all the things in, you've levelled up! Congratulations. You have progressed to the next stage: Waiting for an Interview.

And waiting... And waiting some more...

Even playing your invisible playstation won't help that email come any faster.

It's so close, but just out of reach. So, how can you make October go by a little faster? Well, let's think positively and assume that you will get the interview, and you will pass it.

1. Make a bucket list.
List all the things you want to do before you skip town, or all the things you want to do in Korea.
For bonus time-wasting points, research all the things and find out how easy, cheap and amazing they will be (or won't, depending). Make a horribly complicated spreadsheet with all this information on it. Colour code it.

My list is here.

2. Inevitable Facebook time-wastage.
Post links to anything and everything vaguely related to Korea on the EPIK facebook group and get sucked into absorbing, exciting and interesting comment threads with your future potential friends.
For bonus time-wasting points, face-stalk the members of the group. Creep.

In the end, everything comes down to the hip thrusting.

3. Get to know your POE/MOE on Google Earth.
Not as dull as it sounds, actually, and you can spend hours and hours following bike trails along rivers - wait, what the hell is that, Daegu?

Is it a maze? Some kind of weird Korean Sports field? A macrochip? A very well-groomed crop... rectangle?

4. Start learning Korean
There are some great websites with free resources for you to start teaching yourself Korean. Let me break it down for you:

KWOW - Korean Word of the Week. I found this youtube channel a while back, which helps with some vocab in her KWOW program, as well as various other cultural snippets. She's also ridiculously adorable.

Korean-Flashcards.com sends (sometimes awkwardly funny) sentences of the day to your inbox, as well as having a bunch of vocabulary-building resources on the website.

The best so far, however, is Talk To Me In Korean - amazingly well-explained and in-depth lessons that teach you not just handy phrases here and there but actually how to correctly construct sentences, and what all the bits and bobs mean. It's awesome! I worked through ten lessons today, and now I can have this hypothetical conversation:

Waegook: 이거 커피 예 요        This is coffee.
Coffee:  안녕하세요! (^_^)         Hello!
Ajumma: 이거 뭐 예요?              What is this?
Waegook: 커피가 예요.              It's coffee,
Ajumma: 커피가 예요? 아니요... 이거 커피 는 이에요!    You call this coffee? No... THIS is coffee!
Waegook: 저 친구가 없에요... (ᅲ.ᅲ)         I have no friends.

So, you know... Useful things.

5. Become addicted to K-Drama
K-Drama refers to soapies made in Korea. But they're not quite like what your western idea of a soapie is.

Less this:

More this:

He has to clean up her puke AND give her a piggy back? Seriously?

Some recommendations to get you started:

Films:
My Sassy Girl - Better than the American remake, and pictured above. Boy meets girl. Girl passes out. Boy drags girl to love motel. Less creepy than it sounds. Maybe.
I'm a Cyborg but that's OK. - Girl thinks she's a robot and has to be checked into a mental institution. Kinda cute, actually. You'll like this if you enjoyed Amelie.
200 Pounds Beauty. - Who couldn't love a movie whose message is that the only way to succeed in life is to have extreme plastic surgery? I am not being serious. I am being sarcastic. It's a fun movie though.
Oldboy - A change in tone. Disturbing. Not for the faint of heart (or stomach). Best known for the infamous Octopus scene.

Series:
Boys before Flowers: Uh. I don't even know how to begin to describe this. Basically, 4 ridiculously 'attractive' (by Korean standards) men at an elite private school rule the school and are fundamentally evil bullies, in my opinion. But we're supposed to like them anyway. I think the main character, a working-class dry-cleaning girl, makes this show worth watching.
You're beautiful: A catholic nun stands in for her twin brother (whose plastic surgery has gone horribly wrong) in an all-boy band. She's in drag, and wonderfully androgynous. Light and entertaining. A fair bit of projectile vomiting and suggested nudity. Hooray for Korean TV.
Coffee Prince: More androgyny (get used to it!). So butch she's kicked out of the girls' section of the jjimjilbang, this poor delivery girl ends up working at a coffee shop staffed by studly men (and pretending to be one). Hilarity ensues. Some weepy bits too.
Love Rain: A couple of boy hipsters fight over a girl-hipster. Lots of rain and arty shots. Nice music, though, and some good writing.
Moon and Stars for You: horribly cheesy and yet hopelessly addictive, and bizarre series revolving around people involved in the running of a bread company (in which bread is seen as the holy grail of foods, more like cake than like the thing we use to get tasty spreads/sandwich fillings into our mouths) and a whole lot of love triangles.

6. Learn some catchy K-Pop songs
I'm not talking about Gangnam style, now. Everyone knows Gangnam Style. I'm thinking more along the lines of songs by Wondergirls, Big Bang, Super Junior, B2ST and so on. They're corny as hell but learning the lyrics can be a bit of a tongue twister, so that's bound to pass the time swiftly. Bonus points if you can sing and do the dance moves at the same time.

And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three...

(Eoddeokhajyo)  Eoddeokhajyo
(Ddeollineun naneun)  Ddeollineun naneunyo
(Doogeun x 4) Doogeun Doogeun georyeo bameh jamdo mot eerujyo
Na neun na neun babon gabwayo geu dae bakkeh moreuneun babo geuraeyo geu dae boneun nal

[All]
Neomu banjjak banjjak noonee booshyeo no no no no
Neomu Kkamjjak Kkamjjak nolla naneun oh oh oh oh oh
Neomu jaritjarit momee Ddeollyeo Gee gee gee gee gee
Jeojeun noonbit (Oh yeah) Joeun hyanggi (Oh yeah yeah yeah)   

("Gee" by Girls Generation)

7. Learn the National Korean Stretching Routine

So far this list has been restricted to things you can do while sitting on your lazy bum, with your face in the internet. Get up. Start moving. Learn this by heart. Here is a video. Good luck.

8. Read up on Korea
Get your hands on any writing remotely to do with Korea; blogs, magazine articles, travel brochures. But most time-consuming of all (and this is our aim, remember), read some actual books.

Recommended:
Nothing to Envy, by Barbara Demmick This book made me cry. It has also made me determined to find some sort of volunteer work in Korea through which I can help refugees/defectors.

9. Meditate
Korea is a buddhist nation, and meditation is a great way to calm yourself, clear your head, and take stock of exactly what's happening right. This. Instant. Read up on buddhist methods and give it a try. What have you got to lose? The worst that can happen is that you'll doze off.

This is as good a place to start as any.

10. Create a photographic tour of your home town to show kids (and mine for vocabulary) when you get to Korea.
Another one to get you moving, and also to get you out of the house. Grab a camera and walk or drive around your town, taking photos of all the things that make it quintessentially HOME-ish to you.

An example from Grahamstown:

Rush hour.

If you're feeling creative and have more time to kill than you thought you would, turn it into a film, with an awesome soundtrack. I bet the kids will love it. And it's a nice way to say goodbye.

(I suppose an eleventh item could be 'Write a blog post listing 10 ways to waste/pass the time'). Writing this post has taken me 3 hours... and now it's 3am. Sheesh. 

South Korea Bucket List

Well, with my documents heading to my recruiter at this very moment, and my feet itching to leave, I think it's time I started a South Korea bucket list. Here we go!

This list is adapted from the list made by Chris Backe of "Chris in South Korea" (whose personal blog has since disappeared - if you know of a new link to it, please let me know). 83-85 were suggested by Alannah Boland. 88 suggested by Silvy Alvarez-Martinez.

1. Spend the night in a jimjilbang (day spa / sauna). Bonus points for spending the night in the jjimjilbang at Incheon Airport.
2. Stay out in Hongdae or Itaewon all night and catch the ‘subway of shame’ home the next morning. 
3. Bargain for clothes at Seomun Market. 
4. Go to Lotte World on a rainy / snowy day. 
5. Take in a drag show on Homo Hill, and smile at the ladies of Hooker Hill.
6. Visit the Loveland sex museum on Jeju island. 
7. Try the collagen face masks from Face Shop.
8. Watch the largest waterfall bridge performance at Banpo Han River Park.
9. Get off at a random subway stop and explore the local area.
10. Find a small town and enjoy being the only foreigner around. 
11. Drink Korean beer in a convenience store cafe
12. Raise funds and/or volunteer for a Korean charity 
13. Dress up as something crazy for Halloween in Hongdae.
14. Eat dried squid, fried chicken and drink soju at a baseball game. Bonus points for figuring out how to cheer along.
15. Go skiing at one of the dozen ski resorts around the country.
16. Get muddy at the Boryeong Mud Festival! 
17. DVD bang. Private movie screening. Like a drive-in theater without the car. ‘Nuff said. 
18. Play with the fancy technology around Yongsan Electronics Market or one of the Techno Marts.
19. Mix yogurt and soju. See what happens.
20. Eat some beondegi (silkworm pupae)!
21. Meander around the phallic statues in Penis Park (warning: NSFW) (Gangwon-do)
22. Watch the mayor of Daegu ring the big bell on New Year’s Day.
23. Drink makgeolli (rice wine) and eat pajeon (green onion pancake) on a rainy day. 
24. Push yourself across the ice on a sseolmae (wooden sled).
25. Take a bike ride along the Han river. 
26. Use your connections to get on one of the American military bases. 
27. Enjoy a Westernized Korean wedding. 
28. Say saranghae (I love you) to a special someone, whether they’re Korean or not.
29. Appreciate the air-conditioning on the subway in the middle of July. 
30. See NANTA or another non-verbal, high-energy performance. 
31. People-watch at Garosu-gil over a cup of coffee. Alas, they've broken it all down and turned it into cosmetics mecca. Bleh.
32. Get up to a moktok (a wooden instrument used in Buddhist temples) at 3:30am for a Korean Buddhist templestay.
33. Have a cocktail in a bag
34. Munch on some some live octopus, Oldboy-style.
35. Appreciate the spiciness of a good kimchi jjigae.
36. Try your best to converse with a Korean taxi driver.
37. Get the evil eye from an ajumma
38. Try the Korean version of ‘forest therapy’ in either Damyang or Anmyeon-do.
39. Swim in the East Sea and the West Sea.
40. Go puddle-jumping in a monsoon
41. Eat cold noodles with watermelon
42. Survive 'fan death' in summer
43. Spend a platonic night with a friend at a 'Love Motel'
44. Greet a car greeter
45. Spot a fake town in North Korea
46. Shape a hard boiled egg into something too cute to eat
47. Brush your teeth at work
48. Learn a KPOP dance
49. Cook a South African meal for some Koreans
50. Watch a Korean movie at a cinema
51. Go geo-caching in Daegu
52. Work out on public exercise equipment in the park
53. Go to the Daegu body-painting festival
54. Hug a giant teddy bear
55. Take ridiculous photos and have them turned into more ridiculous stickers
56. Stuff your face with meat at a Korean barbecue
57. Watch competitive Star Craft
58. Learn to play Star Craft/League of Legends/Sudden Attack
59. Play Korean Dance Dance Revolution at an arcade
60. Eat sweet potato bread
61. Learn the Korean synchronised stretching regime
62. Go to Everland
63. Wear BB cream and be flawless (maybe she's born with it? Maybe it's BB cream)
64. Get a haircut in a Korean salon
65. Try Korean oriental medicine
66. Visit a Korean fortune teller
67. Check out Daegu's pink light district
68. Bump around to trance music at G2
69. Check out the LGBT scene in Daegu's gay district
70. Bang all night (PC Bang, Noraebang, DVD Bang, Wii Bang, Jjimjilbang...)
71. Ride some rollercoasters in Daegu
72. Go swing-dancing
73. Ride a disco pang-pang
74. Check out some cherry blossoms
75. Take part in a traditional tea ceremony
76. Visit the Toilet Exhibition Hall
77. Cringe at the Plastic Surgery Museum
78. Teleport to a German village
79. Go on a tour of the DMZ
80. Play baduk 
81. See a K-Pop concert
82. Catch the Busan film festival
83. See what the fuss is all about at Jeju island
84. Get lost in a garden maze
85. Drink coffee from a can
86. Enjoy coffee and cuddles at a Pet Cafe 
87. Have a conversation completely in Korean
88. Hike Seoraksan mountains in autumn
89. Climb the highest mountain in Korea
90. Order a mystery meal to be delivered to my apartment
91. Soak in a natural hot spring
92. Be cute at the Hello Kitty cafe
93. Go to Korean classes and learn the lingo
94. Do the Itaewon Freedom dance in front of Namsan Tower
95. Work out in the park
96. Learn to cook a Korean meal
97. Take a traditional pottery class
98. Win a game at a boardgame coffee shop
99. Oppa Gangnam Style in Gangnam
100. English Teachers' choreographed dance in a dance club.  (The night we did the macarena, gangnam style and YMCA covers that, I think).
101. Drink in public, in inappropriate places.
102. Have your feet nibbled by fish at Dr Fish.
103. Be gatvol (spot someone wearing a gat). 
104. Sleep on a yo.
105. Sign up for a class at a Hagwon, in Korean.  Yoga completely in Korean totally counts.
106. Sit a TOPIK exam.
107. Have a normal dinner in a Korean's home
108. Time-travel to the past
109. Climb inside a painting. 
110. Learn to salsa/swing dance
111. Go to the Rape Festival
112. Get armloads of freebies from cosmetics shops just for going inside
113. Do Noraebang on a long bus ride to pass the time
114. Hike the entire East Coast
115. Ulleongdo scavenger hunt: find the absence of 3 things (thieves, snakes and pollution) and the presence of 5 things (many aromatic trees, wind, beautiful women, water and rocks)
116. Catch waves in a waterpark.
117. Hug trees at the Daegu arboretum.
118. Drink persimmon wine underground.
119. Birdwatch in Eulsukdo
120. Go whale-watching or ocean-staring
121. Find Nemo at the aquarium
122. Eat barbecue that's cooked with a blow torch
123. Have chicken or duck cooked in pumpkin
124. Go to the Bus Bar and/or the airplane cafe.
125. Eat cheesy jjimdalk