Saturday, April 27, 2013

How Korea Made Me Love Shopping

Shopping in SA (or Mauritius): Try on lots of things. Nothing fits. Hate yourself. Find one thing that looks good but it's ridiculously expensive. Hate yourself and now you're broke. Eat chocolate. Ah well; most of the clothes look like they're aimed at teen prostitutes from Benoni anyway. But it looked so nice on the mannequin... Ooh, these pants look great... for the 5 weeks that they last before they start falling apart. Plus (specifically in Mauritius) everyone is trying to rip you off because they think you're a tourist... AAAGH! Run away!  You give up! You're going to hide in your room, rolled up into a little ball of sorrow because you're hideous and hate yourself. Wah.

Shopping in Korea: Think nothing will fit, and baffled by the strange styles. Can't try things on - shop owner insists it's one size fits all but your mammaries seem to disagree. Still, this beautiful dress costs the same as two cups of coffee, so why not? If it's too small you'll just have to join the gym, won't you? *stern look* Oh, but these shoes are only $10... And look at this FANTASTIC Konglish on this shirt! Oooh, socks with mustaches!

You throw your money at them, gleefully. If you run out of cash you can always just live on school lunches and maybe join a church (free lunch after the service). And even then, you're not spending THAT much money because It's Skin is having a 30% sale and everyone at the market keeps giving you huge discounts because you're paying in cash. So, what the hell? Just buy the stuff.

And when you get home, and try on all your loot... It looks fantastic. Your curves fill out those dresses the way Korean women wish they could. You love how the fabric hangs just so, and how gorgeous those shoes make your feet look.

Thank you, Korea. Not only do your children tell me I'm beautiful every single day, not only do your cosmetics work like a bomb and make me feel like a princess, but you just made me BELIEVE that I am beautiful by letting me see it for myself.

And that's awesome.

For the record, I'm a 72kg, 5'6", size 7 UK shoes, C cup nunganungas, round-bottomed woman. And every single thing I bought today fits perfectly. 


  1. I want to go shopping in Korea! Heck, I want to go to church in Korea!

  2. Damn, I want to join you for the shopping perks alone!

  3. Yeah, wait until they rudely tell you that you are too fat when you are the smallest that you've ever been in your life. That part, not so much fun. But yes, finding wonderfully cheap clothes that do manage to fit is fab!